牯嶺街少年殺人事件

兩部人生中部最重要的電影之一，今天再有機會翻看一次。不知不覺已經差不多十七年了，現在再看時，見到張震的清澀，令我想起那個時候的自己，那個時候的事情。

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記得當年，雖然在未看電影以前已經看過電影改編的小說，但去到最後的時候我還是哭了。哭，是因為被小四感動，因為我對人物本身感情的投射。

今天呢，這份衝動消失了。是的，是我老了，亦是我已經從另一個角度去看這部電影。

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This film has marked an era in my life during which I have been struggling on ideology and reality. 17 years had past. What am I now? I don't feel like I am any happier than that time. I never wanted to be the way I am now. Act to be sociable, well rounded in terms of social life. But I felt like I have lost. I like to be an actor, but I finally ended up the way I was.

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Why I like to be an actor? I cannot tell. May be it is a destiny in life.

I always quote one occasion in my kindergarten time when I first act in a Christmas event,. That's the very beginning of my destiny. Since then, it has stayed in my life and kept on torturing me. I know I loved acting, but not being able to be in love with it. So what?! All that was left for me is regret, enduring regret for years to come. I can recall clearly. It is I who lacks the courage to love you. There is no way that I could complain

All in a sudden, my mind popped up a song sung by Jackie Cheung.

<再度重遇你 曲>：Dan Fogelberg 詞：林振強

今天再碰到 我好比初相識當天
帶點不相信 而又帶點奢望
你為何在此 令這願安躺的心震盪
多想再碰到 你給風吹起的黑髮
你每根黑髮 曾在我手輕臥
你亦曾留下火 就算在今天人不屬我

再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
願表仍是你 仍是你鎖著我
再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
誰令我不懂愛另一個

今天再見到 你那詩一般的身影
你的身影曾在 我影中睡
某段情曾共追 恨美麗故事難寫下去

再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
原來仍是你 仍是你鎖著我
再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
誰令我不懂愛另一個

但你又怎可知我仍祈望 重新跟你愛過
但若你知那又如何 和我可以講什麼
前事已消逝

今天你再走 望望我 並輕勸親我
你的嘴角無地說聲：珍重
人離後的街 縱熱鬧 縱是擠逼仍空亦凍

再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
原來忘掉你 忘掉也不可
再度重遇你 可喜也可悲
誰令我不懂愛另一個

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I am really afraid to watch the next most important film in my life on 7 Sept. I just cannot endure another strike, especially given what had happened recently.